Just To Have Something To Say

Between now and the Day of the Lord's Nativity I do not suspect I will be posting much.  The past few weeks, during which I took a five-day hiatus for retreat, have been challenging my motives and aspirations for writing this blog.

Some of my readers and many of my friends know that I have long been afflicted with the demon of comparison, which has been described as "judging my insides by what I see on the outsides of others."  The layers of fantasy are legion: there's the other person in himself, then there's what they project for others to see, then there's my perception of what they are projecting--and then I measure myself (as far as I know me) by that perception!  Between CMZ as he really is, and XYZ as he really is, there is a great chasm, which no one has been able to cross from one side to the other.

The Catholic blogosphere has a number of "superbloggers": many erudite and prolific, often scintillating and controversial, frequently read and evaluated.  I hold them in great esteem.  Right now I don't think I am capable of that level of commentary and analysis of what's going on in the Church, the culture, or my soul.  I'm not sure that I can or want to spend the necessary time or energy to approximate that level.  My skin isn't very thick- and that seems more important with every read and post.  I read not only to acquire edifying content, but to enhance my writing skills.  I read good stuff to become gooder.

Whether or not I continue to use the electronic medium for evangelization, inspiration, and amusement, I intend to remain a priest in good standing to serve as long and as well as possible.  Now as a child of my time I must concede that there's no place like the Internet.  Well used, it is a channel of truth, justice, mercy, peace, delight, and other divine things.  Responsible Internet usage requires a level of discipline that I have chosen to pursue.  It has not been perfect (I am typing at 0100 EST), but neither is the rest of me.  And yet you keep reading--all dozen or so of you.

And I keep writing.

Why don't you listen to this, just to get a sense of where I am right now:

As always for a faithful celibate, references to any sort of romantic relationship can be viewed in the "fuller sense" of the divine-human relationship, or, in this particular context, to Dame Success.  There is no drama to be extracted from the Rev'd Blogger's choice of video.  It's a good song.