Marriage: Willing Mutual Submission

Thank you, kind reader, for accompanying me through this trek through the seven sacraments, signs (1) perceptible to the senses, (2) instituted by Christ and (3) entrusted to the Church, (4) that impart the divine life. 

This last one is first in terms of its establishment because it is the relationship by which the Creator got the proverbial ball rolling. Before there was a Church strictly speaking, there was a man and a woman, and there was Love, divine and human. 

This ends up telling us nearly everything about the Church, at least according to Saint Paul: Recall from a recent Sunday second reading (Eph 5:21-32) his meditation on the mutual submission of wife and husband. Jesus’ total Love-Investment took the form of His entire life, especially His passion and death, the paschal oblation from which the Church has grown by yielding to that supreme Gift. Human families grow from the same seed of willing submission of bride and bridegroom.

Marriage is not merely incidental to human society or Catholic life. “The Church passes by way of the family,” said Pope St. John Paul II. The family is the fundamental building block of society, of the Church at large and our parishes at small. The love of husband and wife, expressed and fortified by children, is both our “social security” and our “ecclesial security.” Jesus Himself is our security par excellence, but we can experience His security more…securely…within the context of a vibrant family—for which reason the family is often called “the domestic Church.”

Spouses unite body and soul in the act of conjugal love, expressing and nurturing the total gift of self, holding nothing back. Among the vast variety of life arrangements out there, sacramental marriage alone can sustain a total, faithful, permanent, exclusive union that is open to new life. The Catholic Church is among a shrinking (but no less bold) few who insist despite our own failures that man and woman alone express the total gift of self through conjugal acts that are not closed off to new life by intention, chemicals, or devices. 

Note the comprehensive nature of this affirmation: extending it to “intention” demonstrates the totality of the gift. A “fingers-crossed,” corrupted intention, pleads for a deeper commitment from the spouses. “The struggle is real,” we say nowadays, and this in truly trivial matters; but fidelity to that struggle yields blessings in this life and the next.

Here’s the rub: Do we honestly believe in the next life and its impact on our decisions in this life? As they say, “Click here to find out.” When the “link”—i.e. the marital covenant—seemed never to be truly made, that’s the stuff of declarations of marital nullity. We celebrate the proper functioning of the marital relationship, properly situated within the divine-human relationship of which it is an analogue.

Just as in medicine, we can learn more about the proper function of a tissue or organ by way of the improper function. Learn now, and do everything in your power with God’s grace and others’ help to move forward in the best direction. Learn from your mistakes and repent of your sins: that’s the human way along the Divine Way!

Daring Conversation on the Delicate Condition

My friend Fr. Joseph Faulkner was a couple of years behind me at Saint Charles Seminary. The title of his blog, "Father Talks Too Fast," cleverly and self-effacingly points to the cadence of his homilies. Although fast talking was not among my recollections of him from seminary days, intelligence and wit certainly were.

His diocesan bishop, the Most Rev. James D. Conley of Lincoln, recently published a pastoral letter on contraception (available here). While people might not expect a Catholic cleric to speak about the topic in an encouraging and compassionate manner--if at all!--Bishop Conley does. He exhorts married couples to be open to life. Alongside fidelity, permanence, exclusivity, and totality of investment of self, openness to life is a constitutive dimension of the Sacrament of Matrimony. When any of these dimensions is absent and the offending spouses do not repent, marriages tend to fail, if they happen at all. Thanks to the chemical, mechanical, or otherwise intentional separation of babies from bonding, the sexual expression ideally reserved for sacramental marriage happens more easily outside of sacramental marriage. Even in a sacramental marriage, contraceptive sex is a reservation of self contrary to the covenant context that demands "all of me."

Father Faulkner has published (and I include here) the recent homily that develops his Ordinary's viewpoint. He provides insightful background to the current landscape, detailing not only the widespread abandonment of the established teaching among non-Catholic denominations, but also the provenance of Pope Paul VI's watershed encyclical Humanae Vitae, in which the Holy Father courageously reaffirmed Church teaching against the suggestion of most of his chosen advisors. Father also discusses the effects of contraception on marriages--on the erosion of trust and sacrifice and every other aspect of Christian Love.

Various preachers around the country have begun once again to promote an integrated vision and practice of marital love. Fear undoubtedly inhibits some preachers, but at this point we may wonder what more there is to lose by keeping silent.

Human respect is one of the last strongholds. No priest or deacon longs to hear the usual barrage:

"Where do celibates get off preaching about such things, when some of them can't keep themselves in check?"

"How do they know what it's like to try to raise children? Maybe they'd change their tune if they tried just for a day."

"They don't know all the situations that have led me/us to my/our decision. How dare they judge?"

There are other objections, too. I won't answer any of them here. It's enough for me to wonder how the Catholic Church could possibly maintain her comprehensive reverence for human life for so long, amid so many objections, if the Church herself weren't true and her teachings weren't true. I don't propose that thought as a solid, discussion-ending argument, but it ends the discussion for me. From there I can listen with an open mind and heart to good presentations such as Fr. Faulkner's, or from Dr. Janet Smith, or others.

I wonder aloud whether the contraceptive tendency betrays a lack of gratitude, if not latent disdain, for the gift of our own existence. In any case, fear lies at the root of directly-willed infertility; and "perfect love casts out all fear" (1 Jn 4:18).

By month's end, the Church will be canonizing Popes John XXIII and John Paul II. The latter was a fearless force behind Humanae Vitae. In the early 1980s, John Paul developed his "Theology of the Body" out of earlier reflections that had supported his predecessor's 1968 encyclical. An entire generation of priests and religious, the present blogger included, has claimed JPII as a chief inspiration behind their calling. Without having sired a child, Pope Wojtyła has given birth to thousands of vibrant Catholics. His successors continue, in their own ways, to breathe new life into the dry bones of this post-Christian century.

I have great respect for Catholics and other people of good will who "struggle" with the Church's teaching, if by "struggle" they mean "try to understand and live it, who occasionally or often fail, but repent and try again." As for those who do not "struggle" by the above definition--those who reject it or casually ignore it, or who might even be unaware of it--I desire their salvation and every other blessing I would desire for myself. Foremost among those blessings are knowledge and love for the truth. If I were a married man, or a permanently or provisionally unmarried man, I would also "struggle," by the above definition. I'd hope, however, that my wife and I, or prospective wife and I, would want to do everything possible to live according to the Church teaching.

In the upcoming Bishops' Synod on the Family in 2015, we can be assured that openness to life within the marital embrace will continue to be a matter for conversation. I do not know the exhaustive list of synodal topics, but I would venture to include the increased divorce rate, the decrease in children, the increase in artificial means of conception (as well as contraception), and the increasing legitimization of same-sex marriage. Like the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, these issues are synoptic (i.e. they can be considered side by side and are "related" to each other).

Following Pope Francis' example, we begin always with the basic Gospel: Jesus Christ has saved us! In light of that message we then can talk about controversial matters. Catholic clergy can relate the motives and benefits of ongoing openness to life; joyful Catholic couples can share their struggles (trials and triumphs) in the practical realm. But it will require boldness, both in terms of the willingness to face objections and the willingness to field questions. Like the Greeks who gathered to hear Paul at the Areopagus (cf. Acts 17), people may want to hear more about this Good News, and as they accept it they slowly will attempt to live it. The Church's compassion (manifested most clearly in the Sacrament of Penance) can bolster those who find themselves unable and unwilling to walk this challenging way.

Covenant or Convenience?

Same-sex marriage has gained vehement support in recent months.  Respect for the actual Sacrament has been diminishing for decades among the general population.  Some would argue the correlation of these two realities, while others would contend that there is no necessary connection.  In either case, Church and society alike have taken marriage for granted for too long, and it shows.

All of this has prompted a renewed reverence for the divine intention for human love.  The term covenant is an apt description for sacramental marriage.  It comes from the Latin convenire, "to come together."  This term has been preferred to contract, which ecclesiastical authors had been using from the days of Pius XI with his landmark encyclical Casti Connubii (1930).  In one form or another, the word contract appeared 22 times in translation.  It derives from contrahere, "to draw together," suggesting a sense of involuntariness foreign to contemporary practices and sensibilities.  The days of arranged marriage are past us, for the most part.  We don't "contract" marriage, we "contract" disease!

Social networks have been playing a major role in promoting ideas and causes in ways that catch the eye and get people thinking.   I offer this chart for your reflection.

Source: Facebook community "God is the author of marriage"  

While the word convenient also derives from convenire, let's not bicker and argue: we typically employ convenient in situations of practicality and ease, while covenant, its comelier cousin, is associated with deliberation (a staple in situations where practicality might suggest an easier, softer way).

Most of these categories are cut-and-dried, admitting of little wiggle room.  Individual spouses and marriages may tend to think and/or behave predominantly in one or another direction.  Thank God for opportunities to awaken to the need for change, which can occur before the breaking point.

God, the Author of marriage, is also the Author of Holy Orders, whereby men are privileged to participate in the Church's evangelical, sacramental, and pastoral ministry as "other Christs."  This, too, is a share in covenant love, in many respects; above all, because "God is faithful" (1 Cor 1:9).  The Church needs priests who are secure in their relationship with the Lord, and readily available for their people's spiritual needs.

We are at the threshold of "Good Shepherd Sunday," dedicated to prayer for vocations after the Chief Shepherd's own Heart.  May God bless all married couples, priests, and consecrated religious who strive to exemplify His covenant-love in their respective vocations.

Ahm In

At Mass this morning, one person's response to "The Body of Christ" sounded like "Ahm in" ("I'm in").

The sound of it, the thought of it, seized me for a moment.  Now there were a dozen or more people still in line, so I couldn't just go off into ecstasy right then.  Getting lost in thought isn't an unfamiliar voyage into unfamiliar territory for me!  But, as one of our Scripture profs used to say, "There's a homily in there somewhere!"  (Or a blog post, I suppose.  But blogs weren't around yet.)  So I wanted to keep the idea fresh.

She was receiving the Eucharist, the Body of Christ.  As a fully initiated Catholic she certainly is a member of Christ's Mystical Body.  The recipient of Holy Communion is affirming both dimensions of Christ's Body: two, for the price of One.

The expression Amen derives from the Hebrew word 'emet meaning "truth."  To say "Amen," then, is to affirm the truth.  It does not make truth out of falsehood (for not even God can do that), but it does perfect the one who consciously, freely, and repeatedly assents to a reality outside of himself.

Apud te est fons vitae, et in lumine tuo videbimus lumen (Ps 36:10)

What does the communicant affirm in receiving "the Body of Christ"?  Everything: in terms of the Church's Catechism, we affirm--personally and communally--right doctrine, right worship, right living, and right praying.  The public act of receiving Holy Communion suggests that the recipient is standing (kneeling!) with the Church.  If not, then the person must first "examine himself" (1 Cor 11:28) before approaching the altar.  In nuptial parlance: drop your bouquet, run out of the church (don't mind everyone quizzically looking at you, wondering if there'll still be a reception), and clarify the relationship before declaring your vows.

Now a person's intellectual and moral difficulties--even ten thousand of them--do not equal one doubt (said Cardinal Newman).  Everyone is involved in some sort of struggle, or failure to demonstrate precise correspondence of beliefs and actions.  But the intentional reservation of one's "better judgment" over against the Church is risky--it's far more than risky.  A prompt and earnest beginning to resolve our difficulties always seems appropriate.

All, of course, in the interest of our full investment of self in the Catholic Enterprise, better known as the Body of Christ.  Can I hear an "Ahm in?"

The moment of truth, hands down

Priestly People

"God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, has freed you from sin, given you a new birth by water and the Holy Spirit, and welcomed you into His holy people.  He now anoints you with the Chrism of salvation.  As Christ was anointed Priest, Prophet, and King, so may you live always as a member of His Body, sharing everlasting life."

Whether or not this prayer was recited at your Baptism, the sacrament "hard-wires" you to Jesus and His Church.  As Jesus fulfills by nature the three-fold office of Prophet, Priest, and King, the grace of Baptism equips you to undertake the three tasks of evangelization, sacrifice, and care.

Christ the Prophet

To evangelize is to declare Good News.  In his Catholicism series, Fr. Barron reminds us of how a royal emissary would announce "eu-angelion! eu-angelion!" to townspeople, thus alerting them to the "good tidings" of military victory.  What is the Good News for us?  The first reading from Jeremiah summarizes it in a manner appropriate to the First Covenant: the Lord has delivered the faithful remnant after a time of exile, and has brought her to a place of refreshment and consolation.  God's action on Judah's behalf stems from their covenant relationship--"I am a father to Israel, Ephraim is my first-born."

Christ the Priest

To sacrifice is to take what belongs to us and to destroy it, make it useless.  We offer God what we value in order to demonstrate that God is our greatest prize.  The Jews sacrificed animals and produce by burning them.  Sometimes they would partake of the sacrificed animal in order to show their connection with the destined Recipient.  In the same way, we partake of the Eucharistic sacrifice that Jesus offered for our salvation so that we may become one with Him and with each other.

The letter to the Hebrews speaks of Jesus as High Priest, an office familiar to the Jews as their chief representative and offerer of sacrifice.  Jesus differs radically from the Jewish High Priests in that He is both priest and victim.  As God incarnate, He perfectly restores Communion with God even as He uniquely enters into our human limitations and frustrations.

Christ the Shepherd

To care is to approach people with great respect for their dignity, not in a patronizing or humiliating manner.  Jesus even asks Bartimaeus what He could do for him.  He does not reduce His Lordship to the status of a customer service representative or Santa Claus.  The stakes are higher than what we want for Christmas, or the next gadget.  Rather it involves our sight--our willingness to perceive the Presence of God wherever He may be found.  To awaken another person to awareness of, and reverence for, that Presence is the best thing anyone can do for another.  All of us can exercise pastoral care in our thoughts, words, and actions; in our communal participation in the sacred liturgy; in our daily moral living; and in our prayerful openness to Church teaching.

This weekend gives us a double whammy in the U.S. observance of Priest Appreciation Sunday within the worldwide Year of Faith.  While all men and women are priests by virtue of Baptism, certain men among the baptized present themselves to the Church, who in God's name forms and calls them to the ministerial priesthood.  In a total and visible way ordained priests exercise the threefold office of Christ as teacher/evangelizer, sanctifier/sacrificer, and shepherd/caregiver.

Among all Christian bodies the Catholic and Orthodox retain the priesthood to offer the Lord's mystical sacrifice.  Holy Mass is more than the Church "walking down memory lane," remembering what Jesus did for us so long ago; rather, it is earth uniting with heaven in the worship of the Thrice-Holy.

Chris the Prophet, Priest, and Shepherd
(Congratulations to Bishop Cullen, my Ordaining Prelate, fifty years a priest!)

As a priest for over nine years, the only sufficient response for my participation in this legacy of love is gratitude.

"Let us give thanks to the Lord our God."  "It is right and just."