Consecrated to the Heart of the Redeemer under the patronage of the Theotokos and Fr. Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J.

19 December 2012

Just To Have Something To Say

Between now and the Day of the Lord's Nativity I do not suspect I will be posting much.  The past few weeks, during which I took a five-day hiatus for retreat, have been challenging my motives and aspirations for writing this blog.

Some of my readers and many of my friends know that I have long been afflicted with the demon of comparison, which has been described as "judging my insides by what I see on the outsides of others."  The layers of fantasy are legion: there's the other person in himself, then there's what they project for others to see, then there's my perception of what they are projecting--and then I measure myself (as far as I know me) by that perception!  Between CMZ as he really is, and XYZ as he really is, there is a great chasm, which no one has been able to cross from one side to the other.

The Catholic blogosphere has a number of "superbloggers": many erudite and prolific, often scintillating and controversial, frequently read and evaluated.  I hold them in great esteem.  Right now I don't think I am capable of that level of commentary and analysis of what's going on in the Church, the culture, or my soul.  I'm not sure that I can or want to spend the necessary time or energy to approximate that level.  My skin isn't very thick- and that seems more important with every read and post.  I read not only to acquire edifying content, but to enhance my writing skills.  I read good stuff to become gooder.

Whether or not I continue to use the electronic medium for evangelization, inspiration, and amusement, I intend to remain a priest in good standing to serve as long and as well as possible.  Now as a child of my time I must concede that there's no place like the Internet.  Well used, it is a channel of truth, justice, mercy, peace, delight, and other divine things.  Responsible Internet usage requires a level of discipline that I have chosen to pursue.  It has not been perfect (I am typing at 0100 EST), but neither is the rest of me.  And yet you keep reading--all dozen or so of you.

And I keep writing.

Why don't you listen to this, just to get a sense of where I am right now:

As always for a faithful celibate, references to any sort of romantic relationship can be viewed in the "fuller sense" of the divine-human relationship, or, in this particular context, to Dame Success.  There is no drama to be extracted from the Rev'd Blogger's choice of video.  It's a good song.

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