Between now and the Day of the Lord's Nativity I do not suspect I will be posting much. The past few weeks, during which I took a five-day hiatus for retreat, have been challenging my motives and aspirations for writing this blog.
Some of my readers and many of my friends know that I have long been afflicted with the demon of comparison, which has been described as "judging my insides by what I see on the outsides of others." The layers of fantasy are legion: there's the other person in himself, then there's what they project for others to see, then there's my perception of what they are projecting--and then I measure myself (as far as I know me) by that perception! Between CMZ as he really is, and XYZ as he really is, there is a great chasm, which no one has been able to cross from one side to the other.
The Catholic blogosphere has a number of "superbloggers": many erudite and prolific, often scintillating and controversial, frequently read and evaluated. I hold them in great esteem. Right now I don't think I am capable of that level of commentary and analysis of what's going on in the Church, the culture, or my soul. I'm not sure that I can or want to spend the necessary time or energy to approximate that level. My skin isn't very thick- and that seems more important with every read and post. I read not only to acquire edifying content, but to enhance my writing skills. I read good stuff to become gooder.
Whether or not I continue to use the electronic medium for evangelization, inspiration, and amusement, I intend to remain a priest in good standing to serve as long and as well as possible. Now as a child of my time I must concede that there's no place like the Internet. Well used, it is a channel of truth, justice, mercy, peace, delight, and other divine things. Responsible Internet usage requires a level of discipline that I have chosen to pursue. It has not been perfect (I am typing at 0100 EST), but neither is the rest of me. And yet you keep reading--all dozen or so of you.
And I keep writing.
Why don't you listen to this, just to get a sense of where I am right now:
As always for a faithful celibate, references to any sort of romantic relationship can be viewed in the "fuller sense" of the divine-human relationship, or, in this particular context, to Dame Success. There is no drama to be extracted from the Rev'd Blogger's choice of video. It's a good song.
Ut scribantur sermones mei (Job 19:23). Contents reflect my opinion, although Church teaching happens to be my opinion as well. Wherever there appears to be conflict, defer to the Church.
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