You may already be a winner!
No purchase necessary.
(No purchase available.)
Just sign up to become the twelfth follower (not apostle) of this blog.
If you happen to become the thirteenth, the fourteenth, or the 325th, no matter--
for you will be joining the fastest growing blog on this URL!
You'll impress your friends and confound your enemies.
Your hair will grow longer and fuller.
Split ends will be, like disco, a thing of the past.*
*That is a bald-faced lie. No connection has been established between my followers' membership and follicular condition.